well well.. i din know they are so many ppl out there dat knows abt my blog.. haha.. anyway i dun care la.. hmm.. it has indeed been a very tryin week fer me.. im so exhausted frm all these stuffs dat are happenin ard me.. all i want in my life now is to have him by my side and to have a great 17 bday.. all i want is to be happy.. is dat really dat difficult? haiz.. how i wish his internet is not down.. so he will look at my blog and knows how i feel.. guess he will never know..
last nite i plucked up my courage and called him.. it has been almost a week since we last talked.. i dun like to see his sms-es.. cuz in one way and another.. i will misinterpret da tone wrongly.. maybe im livin in a world of denial.. but..talkin to him seems better.. at first wen i called.. he din picked up.. i tot he was either slpin or he dun wana pick up my call. my mood immediately fell and it hit the bottom. i was really heartbroken la.. was talkin to chin abt it lor.. dan my phone rang.. i saw dat it was provate num.. rather happy.. but these few days im rather numb to seein private num le.. cuz quite alot of ppl call me oso use private num.. dan i always happy fer nth.. anyway i picked up da call.. and i hear his voice.. so we started talkin.. u never know how fast my heart was beating lor.. it has really been long since i last felt tis way.. he may not be some kinda hunk.. but i dunno why he got tis effect on me.. anyway.. we talked like last time lor.. like there's nth happened between us.. thou he din call me dear or wat.. but the tone he used to talk to me is juz like b4.. and i really hav da urge to call him every nite and talk to him lor.. i miss his voice xia.. anyway.. ha.. i keep digressin ar..sorri la..very long never talk to himn le ma.. hmm.. we juz talk rubish lor.. he was rather concern abt me la.. like ask me got eat got drink and why i always slp so late.. dan he was like sayin dat im now very close to jason and stuff.. tink he's jealous ba.. haha.. and he was like askin wen will the next time be the both of us meetin up again.. wen i told chin dat she was like sayin dats great..at least i still got a place in his heart.. but.. wen i say i wanna meet him aft his exams to talk things out.. he sounded so dwn lor.. dan i was like sayin i will meet him few days aft his papers so dat he will hav time to tink thru and dan we will settle it once and fer all lor.. i dun wanna pressure him durin his last 2 papers.. so aft his paper le dan i let him go tink lor.. and wen i said dat he said sth dat brought tears rite to my eyes.. he said he dun wanna tink alr... he had alr tot it thru le.. so..haiz.. i oso dunno wat to say xia..but wen i ask whether can we still meet and talk things thru he was like.. sure.. so.. we shall tlak things thru..and i really hope is his parents dat are pressurizin him to break de lor.. cuz he cant possibly wake up one day and realise dat he dun love me anymore de lor.. haiz.. we shall se ehow things go ba.. wish me luck will u.. haiz.. he was like "sorri.. i had let u dwn " dat kinda thing la.. haiz.. i strongly believe dat he still loves me de lor.. da feelin was so strong b4.. why all of a sudden it will juz disappear.. it really have a reason de.. really... i strongly believe in dat..so wat is da reason? i really wanna find out.. so.. peeps..wish me luck will ya.. haha..
hmm.. i really miss him lor.. really really.. but if he really have to go.. dan.. i oso gt nth to say.. but i will really try my very best to salvage tis relationship lor.. i tink i shldnt say too much le ba.. if u know me u shld know how impt he is to me.. if u dun .. dan too bad lor.. haiz.. i oso dunno wat more to say abt him.. im really prayin hard dat everything will goin to be fine..if u read tis.. pls help me pray as well.. thanz.. god will ever stop blessin u..
