gosh.. muz i really go tp and apply fer tourism and hospitality!?
i dunno lor.. juz not confident abt it..
wat if i get rejected?! i fear rejection..
mi results..
tis year 'o' levels applicants are dragon babies..
results confirm good till cannot good de..
dan i go and apply..
like so out of space la..
haiz..
mi dear dear had been naggin at me fer more dan one hour on da phone le..
askin mi to go..
muz i really go?!
he keep usin our relationship adn threaten me la..
but its kinda true la..
if i dun go.. mummy sure will use tis r/s as an excuse de..
no matter how not true she oso wun listen de..
im juz scared..
who will understand!?
noone...............
gosh............
i sux la..
if i studied hard enuf.. i wun retain..
i wun face tis situation now..
if i went to tp last year i will oso not be facing tis situation now..
all mi fault.. noone to blame..
haiz..
guess im juz gg there tml..
wish mi luck ba..
im really scared..
grrrrrr~~~~~~~~~~~~

Disorder Rating
Paranoid: Low
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: Low
Antisocial: Moderate
Borderline: Moderate
Histrionic: Low
Narcissistic: Low
Avoidant: Low
Dependent: High
Obsessive-Compulsive: Moderate
URL of the test: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mvURL for more info: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/disorder_information2.html

bored.. in sch now.. havin break.. starving.. canteen flooded w ppl.. cant even have a place to sit down and eat.. gotta wait a lil longer lor.. dan now doin da stupid photo essay thing.. hee.. so can use comp lor.. juz nw yc and amanda came dwn and look fer me and tell me dat da kbox trip is cancelled.. wah.. i really dunno wat to say lor.. know they are havin their 'a's this year.. they aer super busy.. have tests and loads of homework.. sure stress de.. k lor.. juz let it be lor.. wen we are all free dan go lor.. was rather dissappointed la.. but wat can i do!? im not takin 'a's this year.. im not havin maths test tml.. but they are.. so let it be lor.. wat can i do!? if i say not ok.. wat kinda fren am i!? they are havin tests and stuffs yet i dun let them study.. want them to acc me.. haiz.. i wun do dat la.. im not dat kinda person la.. somebody need to sacrifice anyway.. dan let it be me lor.. since im doin nth now.. no 'a's no work.. juz waitin fer poly application.. talk abt poly application.. im really very worried lor.. this year 'o' level candidates are so much more smarter dan me.. dan alot of them wanna go take hospitality as well.. wah.. i doubt mi chances are dat great lor.. somemore last year i rejected them wen they accept me.. im really worried sick.. maybe i shld juz resign to mi fate and stay in jc fer good.. juz re-study the whole thing all over again.. haiz.. dunno la.. dun have da courage to go fer da interview or application.. im really scared.. mi dear oso wun have time to pei me go de.. he gotta work everyday.. dan mi frens all have sch and lessons.. who will be free to pei wo.. haiz.. hate it xia..

now in sch.. rottin.. missin mi dearie.. he busy w work.. wonder wat is he doin now.. haha.. hmm.. so far fer da past one month things are still ok.. not too bad.. get to see him almost everyday.. but still miss him alot lei.. why ar?! hee.. yesterday aft his work.. aft mi sch.. we went out lor.. hee.. we went suntec and catch a movie.. our first movie.. er.. as in watch movie alone la.. 2 person.. hee.. juz love da feelin of him by mi side.. love him alot xia.. i know he love mi too.. hee.. sometime i jzu cant help but still be scared dat history will repeat itself again.. once bitten twice shy lor.. really really very scared now.. very afraid dat anything bad will happen.. i dun wan lor.. i dun wan.. our love story mustnt have any ending.. mustn't.. cuz i got alot of things still haven do with him.. hee.. wanna do alot alot of things w him.. hee..im a happi silly ger who is so in love.. i love mi dearie loads.. gonna meet him ltr too.. hee..

phew.. it has been rather busy..
dun even have time to on mi hse comp..
im now in sch library bloggin..
how pathetic can i be!?
and da sch comp is so darn freakin lag la..
miss touchin mi darlin keyboard..
cant even load friendster page..
know wat?! im so tired.. im so sleepy..
juz wanna skip sch fer a day and slp as thou there is no tml.. hee..
today is a stupid day la..
come sch and do dat burdy worksheet..
its not one piece or two piece lei..
its one whole freakin booklet..
anyway i oso never do.. wahahahahha..
come sch watse mi time wen i can juz slp at home..
ltr gg work again.. gonna see mi dearie.. hee
hmm.. sometime i wonder.. althou wen we work we get to see each other..
we wun be able to have time to date lor..
its like he work everyday.. mon-sat..
dan oni sunday off.. he oso gt his own things to do ma..
dan how!? haiz.. oso dunno.. =(
aiyah.. really dunno la!!!

yesterday da sch brought us to escape fer fun lessons..
wah.. da rides were fun..
and we all stink like hell..
all of us got a lil tan.. or at least red..
i did too.. mi cheeks and mi arm..
aft a whole day of playin.. im so darn freakin tired..
dun feel like gg to work.. but cant.. not enuf ppl..
dan mi dear dear sick.. how can let him work full shift.. rite?! anyway he also stayed and did full shift.. and guess wat!? yesterday i din do my fav job.. roll sugar roll..
hee.. lazy la.. i alr so slpy le.. still ask mi do dat.. i confirm slp de.. really..
dun believe ar?! dan too bad lor.. hee..
im really so in love xia.. hee.. really love him loads..
he's da best thing dat happened to me..
he sick still wanna work full shift juz to wait fer mi and send mi home..
sweet rite?! hee..

mi sch comp is really irritatin mi.. my frendster page is still not loadin!!!
i NEED to change mi profile le.. hee..
i have alr found mi prince who will risk everything to save mi frm never-never land..
hee..

hapi vday peeps..

it may be juz an ordinary day fer some..
it may be another day worth celebratin fer couples..
but it is "A NEW BEGINNING" fer me.. =)

i am somebody's everything.. i am somebody's ger.. i am dat person he talks abt wen he says she's my world.. hee.. yesh.. it was a rather romantic thing lor.. at da strike of 12 he asked mi.. hapi lor.. we din do anything much today la.. its da first day we were tgt and its alr very busy le.. have to find gift to buy fer him.. in da end settled fer a tee.. hope he likes it lor.. dan he got mi junior james.. hee.. so cute rite.. we went j8 fer dinner and dan he sent mi home lor.. din do any significant things.. but.. its alr enuf fer me.. mi first vday.. spent w mi first day bf.. hee.. so cute ar.. haha.. i was very high in sch today.. maybe its due to da honeymoon period ba.. its da first time dat i feel dat im on ecstacy.. hee.. lemme tell you da story abt wat happen k..

on sunday.. 13th feb.. helen carol james and mi went to boss hse fer vistin.. had our lunch there.. oh.. on da sight of everybody mi and james alr kena suan.. pengz.. as if i not pai sei enuf.. i was alr so pai sei wen i see him le.. dan they still do such thing to me.. ok.. us.. anyway we went suntec and caught a movie there.. -himalayas singh-..dumb show la.. i know.. dan we went esplanade cuz tot dat we cld eat chocolate fondue.. in da end nopez.. they dun have it.. dan we went fer sushi.. aft dat we have a walk at river angbao lor.. hmm.. thou din play on da rides.. but it was quite nice a nice trip there.. aft da whole walk there mi and james were kinda bein pushed to do da wax stuffs.. so pai sei la.. plus joshua stood infront of me and giv me dat silly smile.. urgh.. they tot makin me so pai sei fer one time not enuf.. they make us do it fer da 2nd time.. so darn freakin pai sei la.. dan aft dat we went esplanade.. and mi dear joshua carol and helen left mi and james there alone and "went toilet" gosh.. so pai sei la.. dan we juz talked lor.. and he asked mi out on vday la.. dan aft dat.. he sat infront of me.. shld be at da strike of 12.. he asked me to be his ger.. it was so sweet.. da moment was so wonderful.. nobody had ever asked me face to face before.. nobody.. so can u imagine mi happiness!? hee.. aft dat we juz went our separate ways lor.. he sent me home la.. obviously.. anyway.. im so darn freakin happi.. but mum and dad is mad at me fer reachin home so late as tml is monday.. or rather today is a monday and its a sch day.. anyway pRissy is a happi ger.. dun try to do anything silly to break dat smile frm mi face.. i love you darlin.. hee..

wEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.. skippes ard da room.. hee..

hapi new year peeps.. may you guys have a great rooster year ahead.. and may all bird flu be gone frm da world.. hee.. k.. i knwo im lame.. sorri la.. dun scold me.. hee.. hmm.. cant wait fer da mutton soup tml.. dats da best ting dat always happen to mi on new year.. hee.. nice k.. my ah ma make one.. u wan oso dun have.. dun jealous k.. stop showin me dat green eyes.. im gg crazy le.. hmm.. tis year nt much new year mood lei.. partly cuz mi leg still broken.. dan every new year oso same thing.. abit xianz.. rite?! haiz.. bt new year muz be hapi.. lame ar!? bo pian.. lazy to sms everybody.. abit ex oso.. mi pocket gt hole le.. but tml can mend dat pocket le.. but cannot anyhow spend money.. cuz i wanna get new phone.. hee.. shall see how la..

hmm.. on sat daddy cookin.. every year oso liddat.. dan will invite my pals to come over.. and they will fall in love w his cookin.. hee.. tis year oso gt invite ppl.. hopefully get to go out aft dat.. still need to get some stuffs.. haha..wanna find someone to pei wo.. free let me know lei.. dan can go.. hee.. well well.. tml onwards wun go sch le.. dan wun get to see youu.. sad.. will miss you xia.. hee.. hmm.. how i wish i can be sure of my feelings.. am i really inlove w you!? i really dunno.. i oso dun dare to be too sensitive to you.. cuz i know you are very nice to me. but.. how sure am i dat u are oni nice to me and nt to everybody!? rite?! i will never know.. how i wish i can have a sign to know.. dan at least i can have a direction.. he.. juz hope to see ya soon ba..

im in pain.. ARGH!!! still swollen.. still pain.. urgh.. wonder will i ever be able to play sports again in da way i want it to.. no more vball fer me le.. i have weak ankle.. within half a year i twisted it twice.. am i super sway or wat.. wats happenin in my life xia.. i dunno lor.. life is so sucky fer me.. urgh!!! i have been tinkin abt you.. i guess im fallin in love ba.. but.. im not sure.. why is my heart playin such trick on me!? it suckz..

hmm.. so tired.. but.. today will be da last day i will be feelin tis tired lor.. cuz boss had approved to let me take off till da 15th.. hee.. how nice ar.. hee.. hmm.. today work was rather relax la.. as in everything is not as usual.. as in its a smooth pace thing not in a rush.. haha.. went ah po hse aft work.. waited fer aunty grace to come back.. miss her xia.. haha.. got loadsa nice goodies restin in my hse now.. haha.. tml gg to rub my leg w her ba.. haha.. so funny.. rub leg oso muz find khaki.. she wanna go rub her back.. hee.. was talkin abt stuffs la.. dan talk abt vday..cuz i say i wanna bake cookies as well wen we bake butter cake.. dan it makes me tink of affairs of da heart.. i really dunno wat is gg on in there rite now.. am i havin a crush on someone!? i dunno.. i know dat mi heart doesnt flutter or skip a beat wen i see him.. nor will my stomachs be filled w dancing butterflies.. but i know dat wen we talk.. wen u make fun of mi.. wen u are near me.. i will be very happi.. its enuf to make me hapi fer da day.. am i havin a crush on you!? i really dunno.. hmm.. vday comin le.. feel so lonely.. i dun wan lonely vday.. i wanna spend it w someone special.. someone who i really like.. wonder wen will i ever get to spend my first vday w da man dat i love.. been tinkin rubbish lately.. dunno why.. i dun wanna tink de.. but.. juz miss those times wen i have someone who i know will be there fer me anytime of da day.. someone who i can crap and juz be myself.. someone who i can rely on.. someone who i know will do anything fer me.. someone fer me to run to.. someone whose shoulders i can always use.. someone who knows me inside out.. someone who can take care of me.. someone who i really love.. i dun go fer looks.. i dun go fer wealth.. i wan someone who can juz make me smile.. i wan someone to tell me dat im da one fer him.. i wan someone who can make me feel so special althou im juz a commoner.. i miss da feelin of being attached.. i miss holdin hands.. i miss huggin.. hee.. i wana b sumbody's everyting.. i wana b sumbody's ger.. i wana b dat person he talks abt wen he says she's my world.. sounds so wat ar.. haha.. guess im talkin rubbish le.. haha
but hor.. vday i still dunno wat to get lei.. really la.. dun scold me la.. no mood fer anything tis year.. no mood fer CNY.. no mood fer vday.. and well.. currently tink abt my 18th bday i xian 1/2 alr.. really lor.. dan it wil juz remind me of wat i went thru on mi 17th bday.. URGH!!!

shit you la.. was browsin thru mi frendster juz now.. saw sth dat i shldnt see.. how!? why muz tis always happen to me!? wen im tryin to get it over le..dan sth will happen.. dan it will bring back memories.. fark lor.. look at da way she is holdin you.. i will never have such chance le lor.. im so confused.. mi mind is juz swirlin round and round.. i cant breathe.. i really wanna die.. how i wish dat day da taxi driver will juz run over me.. dan today i wun live to see things dat i wun wanna see.. dan i wun be in pain.. i wun.. i wun.. i really hate myself fer alot of things.. really lor.. i will never know how to forgive myself.. i hate myself..

mi dear.. im glad dat you saw wat i wrote fer you.. and i saw ur reply lor.. do you know tears juz stream dwn my face wen i read it.. i juz feel dat im such a bad fren.. u are really gg thru tons of stuffs and yet i dun even know abt it.. im so useles.. wat kinda fren am i xia.. i know your tests are cumin to an end.. i really hope dat we can meet up aft dat.. im serious know.. if it wasnt dat you have bought ur clothes i will have FORCED you to meet w me and we wil go shoppin tgt.. u know we have been pals fer so long.. i will never tink of you in any other way u worry others do.. cuz in my eyes you can be who you are and i will still accept youu.. if by now u dunno dat.. i will kill you da next time i see youu.. haha.. why muz we talk to each other thru tis blogger ting?! dun u find it ridiculous?! 2 best fren yet cant talk on phone.. i know you are stress wen you are havin examz.. it juz you.. i seen you went thru it fer at least 4 yrs.. im really in a lost of words.. mi heart is breakin now to see you sufferin liddat.. i feel so useless.. cuz i can do nth to help my best fren.. really.. chiz.. i dun wan to see you liddat.. it hurts.. pls dun make me go bonkers worryin fer you. will ya?!maybe we dun even have to meet fer long.. meet up juz fer a simple meal.. juz to talk will be good enuf fer me.. mi dear.. seein u in such pain pains me as well.. are you aware?! and pls dun say dat you are retarded or wat k.. u are such a clever ger.. you are oso such a pretty ger.. u are juz too blinded frm ur own shortcomings to see those wonderful things dat oni you have it.. you have beautiful big eyes.. you have such a nice and sweet voice.. most imptly you have me.. and these are things dat alot of ppl wans and cant have.. fer econs.. if you are studyin micro.. maybe i can try to help w watver dat im taught w.. really.. im willin to help.. gosh.. why muz u make me so worry?! worryin fer u is one matter.. another matter is abt da clique dat you hang out w.. i know they are ur pals.. but im afraid dat they wun be able to help you in watever way you need in watever time.. and im scared dat they wil make things worse.. and dan you will be in more misery.. i dun wish dat to happen lor..serious lor.. i cant afford to lose you my dear.. i dun wan to you liddat.. really.. you can always giv me a call.. no matter wat time of da day.. i will definitely make time fer you de.. serious.. i am always more dan willin to be an listenin ear to you wen you juz feel like talkin fer hours.. i will also be da shoulder fer you wen you juz wanna cry your heart out.. serious.. you cant possibly doubt me yah.. you shld know me de lor.. mi dear.. i juz hope dat things will be better aft your paper.. and pls dun sayin dat you are a failure.. you are definitely not.. if you are one.. you wun be in ur dream sch studyin ur dream course.. get me!? gosh.. u better msg me or wat tml ar.. i have to go pack my stuffs le.. still have to work adn go sch tml.. love you k..