the last post of da year. today marks the end of yr 2005.
its time to look back at the entire year. good and bad.

this year there are many major changes in my life.
was still in ny fer da 1st 3 months. but think god has a better plan fer me.
yupz. got into TP-htm. new sch. new envt. new subs. new frens.
alot of adjusting has to be made. but well, i adapted well.
made loads of new frens , enjoying my life in sch.
think im happier accademically wise.
not as stress out wen im in jc. =)
and my new classmates. they were great. thou some were......
im grateful fer my gurlos. the 4 of you.
wan yi ; shermain ; yinki ; aggy.
you guys always make my day in sch.
laughters and pranks. hope this friendship will go on forever......

the wounds left by dat bastard healed slowly. and it was dan i met my precious.
he was the one who showered me with love and care. and the wounds soon become scars.
yes. scars dat will always be there. but it no longer hurt anymore.
cuz i have him by my side.
although at times we do quarrels ; have misunderstandings.
but which couple dun? at least we solve them and things are alright.
our love are growin and its close to a year. am lookin forward to our 1yr anni.
=)
i really wanna say thank you to my precious.
you healed my wounds ; showed me that as long as i give a lil
things will be rite. i juz have to follow my heart.
im glad i did. cuz if i din. the past 10 months will be so different.
you have always been so tolerating and giving.
no matter how unreasonable i am you never once shouted back at me.
=)
dear. i want you to know i really love you with all my heart.
i do make mistakes im human aft all.
i wanna hold on to your hand ; bask in ur love till the end of my life.

well. being in a new sch means i've spend less time w my LANcers.
and jc pals. yes i do miss ny days. slackin in canteen.
i miss walkin ard sch sayin hi to almost everybody. guess this is wat life is abt.
you gain a lil something. you also lose a lil something.
i try to make an effort to keep in contact w them.
to let them know dat they are not forgotton and is always on my mind.
i really gotta meet up w my 05A7C pals soon. not forgettin my LANcers.

one last impt thing. i turned 8teen in yr 2005.
and yupz. its da best bday in years.
a big hug to all who played a part in making me a happy ger
fer turning 8teen. =)
love you guys loads. you will nv be forgotton by me.
and yupz. a big thank you fer those who rmb`ed my bday.

aiights. guess dats abt it fer 2005.
im gonna turn and wave goodbye.
next mornin i will embrace 2006 with arms wide open.
2006 will be a better year. and im gonna have a blast.
and i will make 2006 a year worth living. haas.

gotta go get ready. meetin my peeps ltr. we are gonna dance the last nite away
at ngee ann city. haas.
happy new year peeps! may u enjoy the last day of the year.

ytd woke up early and met wilson.
went fer k-lunch tgt.
haas. was retarded la. oni 2 ppl.
aft dat i went dwn to office.
have to get the digital box and pass it to customer.
anyway it did feel great to be in office.
jokin ard w andy marco and gang. =)
really miss them man. anyway abt 5 plus i left.

met aggy at tpy. she came over my place to stay.
so we got ourself ready and off we go.
we were on our way to mambo. haas.
it was super crowded and packed. hate it man.
no place to even move. in the end went over to mos.
it was so much better. and we managed to squeeze our way in and found some place to groove.
haas. left abt 4. wen the club was closin. haas. cabbed home.
changed and slp. was too tired to bathe.

saw a couple of ppl at mos. my sec sch pals.
din see them fer real long. saw my darlin jonny!!!
was really shocked!!! haas. yeah! he owe me another date now.
cuz he said so last nite. mwahaahaaa.
anyway saw adrian and jo over at zouk too.
so long no see. was surprise he can recognise me.
haas. almost 3-4 yrs nv see him le. my useless kor kor.
haas. =) am missing those ccc days.
days wen jt ; adrian ; lyon ; belle and me.
those times were the best. yah.
miss those freakin bastard la. thou they always bully me cuz im da youngest of them all.
really miss jt. wonder how is he. =/
gonna msg him someday soon. haas.

aigghts. off i go. clubbin tml? maybe. -.-

its da end of the year. time pass by real fast hur.
i still rmb last yr countdwn was w maneka.
getting pissed off w all da banglah.
one year. it aint long it aint short.
so much has happened.i met my precious.
i changed sch. i learnt so much. i felt dat i've grown up emotionally.
i've learnt to look at things at a totally new angle.
i've learnt to take things at a much slower pace.
and i've learnt dat no matter how bad things are.
god will always be there fer me.
and i know dat he put me though such trials and temptation to mould
me into someone stronger. =)

anyway 2005 was filled w ups and downs.
it was ok. but i know 2006 will be better.
im lookin forward to it. living as an 8teen yr old.
8teen is precious to me. im so gonna appreciate it.
i dun wanna get anymore older dan 8teen. haas.
guess every woman had to go thru tis stage hur?
but im lookin forward to 21 too. =)
aiights. im contradicting myself. haas. watever.
yupz.dun tink i made any resolutions fer tis year.
im gonna do so fer next year. need a goal in my life.
haas. ya. it might juz be talking oni.
haas. anyway there goes my list of resolution.

01. lose 4kg by end of the year.
02. work towards being a Bs student.
03. be more understanding and tolerant to my sweets.
04. make time fer LANcers ; belle ; maneka ; chiz ; becks ; ting
hopefully meet them once every 2 months. =)
05. be less materalistic (which is totally impossible)
06. have a closer walk w god. finish 3-4 xtian books.
07. spend more time w my family. esp papa and my sis.

aiights. next will be the impt dates fer 2006

01. 14022006 - one yr ani w my sweets. woots. longest r/s so far. =)
02. somewhere may - start of sem 2. am so lookin forward to it.

currently oni these 2. will update when there's more to come. =)

time fer some update.
last fri sucks. woke up real late and din make it fer my paper
my paper's at 9 and i woke up at 845. where can make it in time?
so no choice go take mc lor.
dan met up w my gurls to see doc and we shopped.
so we went to orchard aft parkway polyclinic.
haas. yay!!! one by one they left.
me and wan yi sticked tgt and fought till the end.
aiights know its lame. so in da end oni me and wy were shoppin.
spend money like there's no tml. haas. bought tons of stuffs.
haas. got almost everything. other dan dat freakin shoebag.
the entire orchard has died on dat bag. its nowhere to be found!!!
so irritating can!!!
yesh. anyway we went home soon aft all da shops close.

next day was late fer project. overslept again. wtf.
any wasted my time la. cuz really do nth de. haas.
anyway went dwn to tm aft dat. and well dis kinda shity place also dun have da shoe bag.
i almost died la. wanna get xmas pressie fer him also cant get. haiz.
lucky mr siva. haas. the salesman was kind enough to call all outlets and help me out.
wah. suntec dun have. parkway dun have. bugis dun have. i almost died.
dan citylink picked up da call and said yes!!! =) whee.
so went home bathed. met mum fer lunch.
dan we went dwn to citylink.
got da shoe bag. last min xmas shopped fer mum.
dan went over to her fren's place.
was waiting to go home and meet dear and go chalet tgt.
anyway he juz need to spoil my mood de lor.
forever de lor. bloody bastard!
dun wan to talk abt it anymore le la.
stupid idiot dat din make my xmas any better.
haiz. rather meet my pals and club. stupid idiot.
anyway did nth much at the chalet la. other dan play games and games and more games.
and dat idiot din even allow me to touch a drop of vodka. bloddy hell.
fine! went to slp at abt 530. till 12 plus next day.
whole body ached. haas. dan got up and prepared fer lunch. =)
aft lunch contd to slack somemore and dan went home.
reached home abt 6 plus. was deadbeat tired. din know why.
came home bathed and slp all da way till 11.
woke up and had my dinner.
lobster lei. haas. i love my daddyy. =)
dats how i spend my xmas. so not exciting i know!
next year will be a better one.

anyway today got up early. went dwn to trim my hair and it went fer treatment.
love my hair now. so straight and so soft. haas.
anyway juz travelled here and there da whole day and got home and prepare in da late evening.
dinner was good. had my fav sharkfin and scallops.
7 course meal and i din miss out a thing.
of cuz there's a price to pay.
i can feel the tummy forming. bloody hell.
haas. reached home abt 11 plus. xianz. the next few days are preparing to decompose me.
=(

2 papers down. one more to go.
tml aft 10 shall be freedom day. whee.
woah. im tired. but cant slp. need to contd studyin POM.
it really sucks like hell! hate POM.
the textbook is as wordy as an encyclopedia.
sucks man!
anyway today reached sch abt 11 and studied w da rest till its time fer paper.

rite. a lil update.
tues lunch was fine. hard rock cafe. it was frezzing.
haas. shopped ard. bought some stuffs.
met up w dear fer dinner.
dan went over to granny`s place.
and yupz i did a lil studying. =)

on wed woke up saw aggy msg.
bathed ; lunched ; got ready to study w aggy.
on da way was chattin to henry.
and yupz he suggessted fer coffee ltr in the night.
so wells. said yes. haas.
bought some snacks fer study time.
went there first as ms aggy ho is late.
haas. studied all the way till 6 plus.
cannot tahan anymore. with jacket and all we are both still freezing.
haas. went dwn to mac fer hot milo.
and i realised a lil secret.
ms aggy ho dunno mac gt hot milo.
mwahaahaa. how funny can dat be.
and yupx contd to study till 9 plus.
went to buy pens. haas. see how hardworkin we are.
study till pens no ink. haas. crap oni.
so yes my highness is so god damn freakin late.
supposed to meet at 7 plus.
ended up meetin at 10 plus.
haas. and aggy waited with me cuz she want see shuai ge.
mwahaahaaa. and yes. finally he came and we talked.
=)
talked. and soon aggy left. we contd to sit fer awhile and he sent me home.
yupz. enjoyed talkin to him. it was fun. haas.
oh wells. yes. he got his xmas pressie. and i got mine too.
haiz. feelin rather confuse.
and fer da whole of today and last nite.
dat bloody scene kept stuck in my head.
fark la!
helpless. confused. sinned.
haas. heck la. >.<

hmm. tot i could hold on to my determination in not using the comp till end of mid sem test.
but wells. juz nid a break la.
today had my first paper. and wells. its was bad.
i guess i was too stress out ba.
such a simple qn and i tink till so complicated.
haiz. 5 marks gone.
well. dats it. morale drooped.
it went all the way dwn to the bottom of the valley.
haiz. so now no motivation to contd study.
promise tml i will do alil. haas.
after paper went dwn to bishan to meet dear and shopped fer pencil box.
haas. yupz. my pencil box spoilt!!! i was so upset la. i love my pencil box.
haas. im gonna love my new pencil box too. C:
oh wells. it juz feel great to have him ard.
but why i juz cant help but feel dat one day dis part of my life will be gone?
why? and i dun wan dat to happen.
sighz. i dunno why. i admit behaving weirdly aft da dream.
haiz. feel so bad towards him but bo pian.
saddd.

anyway tml im meeting yi wei fer lunch and some shopping.
and fer some productive studyin im gonna stay at my granny's place.
yupz. see. im a good ger. haas. but i cant wait fer fri to come!!!
woohoo!!! start of freedom. aiights its juz one week hols.
better dan nth rite. wheee!!! can lac alr. lolx.


im sorry. i cant help but think dat way.
dats wat scars do to you.
wounds healed. but the scars remains.
and it will always remind you dat once, you had bleed.
i hope dat u will be da miracle cream that can wipe out the scar.
at least make it fade. lets work towards that goal.

whee. im so tired. but i cant slp.
but i better be. cuz tml im workin.
no choice. need money to get xmas gifts.
haas. watever.
anyway tis morning i overslept and went fer class 30 mins late.
wtf la. dunno why am i so tired. better go slp ltr.
hmm. aft class went to touch up on my journal ; print it out
did psycho quiz and slack ard fer awhile b4 gg bugis..
went dwn to hand in invoice and say hi to my fellow collegues.
really miss workin w andy.
so crap and fun. haas. i promised him during my 1 week hols im gonna work.
C:
hmm. aft dat my babear called and yes its time to meet her.
yupz. met up with her. walk ard b4 gg fish and co fer dinner
we ordered seafood platter fer 2 and an additional order of fries.
wah!!! dats a grave mistake. the platter wld be more dan enuff.
at the end of the meal we were BLOATED! haas
so we wanted to walk ard to digest da food b4 headin to ice monster.
apparently we both were too caught up in shoppin dat we ended up heading home aft shopping.
yupz. she bought a skirt and i bought 2 tops. =)
haas. shoppin shoppin.
still have xmas shoppin on hand. dunno wen free to do dat. haas.
need cash too. anybody kind enuff to donate some to me!?
haas.

i dreamt dat u are leavin me.
wen i woke up frm tis nightmare i was in tears.
i wanted to have u near to hug me and tell me its all a dream.
but u were nowhere to be found.
u will nv know how scary dat was to me.
u will nv know how much u mean to me.
u will nv know how much i need u in my life.
the thought of not havin u near kills me.
i juz want the both of us to go on forever and ever and ever.

this is goin out to my daddy. thou he wun get to read this. haas.
fer the past 8teen yrs of my life he has always been the greatest dad on earth.
i could never ask more from him.
since young he has always been there fer me.
to teach me ; to guide me
he loves me so much dat no matter wat i ask fer
he will always try to get it fer me.
but he will nv spoil me. at times he does say no.
and i do know my limit.
juz by lookin at him now i realise how much he has aged and it makes my heartbreaks.
day in day out. rain or shine. he works so hard.
fer wat!? fer me and my sis.
well i really do appreciate that.
and i cant wait to graduate and give my parents the best of their lifes.
i really dun understand how can some ppl abandon their parents?
they did so much fer us. gave us the best.
all they want in return is fer us to love and care fer them.
daddy has always been supportive. he taught me how to be independant.
in fact alot of choices i made were by myself. i was worried i will take a wrong step.
but i know daddy will always be there when i fall.
he says its ok to make mistakes as long as i learnt from it.
he was proud of me when i got back my '0's results.
he was definitely disappointed when i failed my promos.
but he din scold me. instead he consoled me. tellin me its ok.
daddy gives me tons of freedom too.
he doesnt restrict me from doin the things i do or gg out till wee hours.
but i also dun take advantage of him.
im old enough to think, so i will never go overboard.
daddy always wants da best fer me and sis.
he nv complain abt us. even wen we want him to cook supper in the middle of the night.
loves to ask him to dig my ears. loves to juz make fun of him. loves to go eat breakfast lunch dinner with him.
im real grateful dat god gave us such chance to me father and daughter in tis life.
dear god. i really have nth more to complain abt this wonderful dad u gave me. u almost took him away from me once. but im glad you din. cuz u saw how much my family needs him.
all im gonna ask fer is fer him to see me complete my studies and get married and fer him to meet his grandchildren.
daddy i love you. C:
i will make sure watever da fortune teller say will come true.
i will start to save up and bring u out on a holiday. someday it will happen.

im finally done with the farkin reflective journal.
its so irritating. so many things to cover.
do untill want die alr!! but luckily i survived.
yet now im not tired and dun wan slp.
but tml sure cant wake up fer lect.
but.. heck. haas.
bahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
guess wat i juz saw?
A BIG FAT LIZZARD CRAWLING ARD THE FLOOR.
FARKING DISGUSTING!!!
i really dunno how to walk back to my room ltr.
xianz.
god bless me hur.
am talkin to my highness. been so long since i last chat w him
miss him loads. he juz asked me out fer coffee.
whee. here i come my highness. haas
not nw la. of cuz. now is bedtime le.
aiights hope tml lesson will be great.
am gonna study fer mid term test aft sch.
whee.

today marks the 10th month of our sweet love.
thou we were both busy and din have time fer each other.
we know dat deep in our hearts the love is strong.
we do not need to meet up every month to rejoice fer this special day.
juz like wat u said as long as i know u love me its more dan enuff.
yes dear. i do know dat u love me.
i love u too. C:
love does wonder to women. haas.
cant wait fer weekends to come so i can juz hold ur hand
and be in ur embrace. hees.

was it a wrong move to leave ny and come to tp?
was it?
bcuz of dat i missed out so much w my darlings.
yes yes. our friendship is strong we can withstand such stuffs.
but still time will really draw ppl apart.
sometimes i juz feel so lost. lost abt them.
i want so much to go fer breaks w them in the canteen.
i want so much to go mandy hse aft sch to eat pancakes.
i want so much to go fer lects w them amusing me.
i really miss those times.
yes. indeed i gained alot in jc.
went thru council went thru ups and downs.
but still i lost alot too.
i lost tons of times w my darlings.
haiz. ever since sat. this has been on my mind.
sometimes i juz feel like a bad fren.
im never there fer them. haizzzzzzzzzzzz.

whee. im finally 8teen. and i really mean FINALLY.
haha. yupz. woke up and went to sch.
really din feel anything different.
haas. maybe wen u get older birthdays are juz another day.
haas. anyway went to class and well ;
i started to get " happy birthday " everywhere.
feel so loved. haas.
and dan during bstats ppl ard me started to give me "bday cards"
made from foolscape. so lame la. it was totally lame.
bahhhh. anyway it was much appreciated. i swear it will be kept properly.
=)

anyway aft sch went dwn to town and meet my precious.
oh wells as usual. he is late.
but he did surprised me w a bouquet of flowers.
how sweet. blue roses and white roses somemore.
total of 16 stalks. oh man. i know it muz have cost him a bomb.
but. so pai sei la. walkin ard w a bouquet in hand.
and everyone was staring.
and i practically mean EVERYONE!!!
super pai sei.
anyway walked over to cine and watched AEON FLUX.
it was ok oni. din really enjoy it as much as in enjoy zathura.
anyway aft dat we went over to heeren and took neoprints.
finally. =)
and dan we went over to suntec fer dinner.
went dwn to swensens. had a super full dinner.
he actually reserved an ice cream cake fer me.
how sweet. i was really surprised. cuz all i was expecting was a firehouse ice cream
haas. well. kinda forced him to sing bday song fer me. dan make a wish. cut cake.
eat cake. happily ever after. haas.
hmm. wanted to go esplanade and sit sit talk talk.
but the cake will melt. so no choice. gotta go home.
=/
he sent me home. =)
hmm. well dats da end of my bday.

i really feel so loved la. so many frens rmb my bday.
received so many msges and calls.
glad to know dat im not forgotton. =)
thanx pals.

to my special one ; thanx alot fer all you've done today.
i really appreciate it. and i really like it.
the flowers ; the dinner ; the cake.
it has been yrs since i last had a wonderful bday.
thanx fer makin tis dream of mine came true.
words can never describe how i felt.
hmm. really felt like im the most fortunate woman on earth.
thanx alot baby. i love you. =)

aiights. i dunno wats wrong w blogger.
the time and date DISAPPEARED!
aiights. watever.

hmm. now is 1.17 am of 07122005
and dat marks the start of the 18th yr of my life.
mwahaahaas.
yeh! like wat erin said. let`s get wild.
woo hoo!!!
haas. hmm. nothing to do.
dunno wat to do.
gotta slp soon. tml gotta go sch fer TEST.
wtf la.
anyway my precious is gonna meet me aft my sch.
=)
hopefully watever he has on mind will turn out good.
am really pissed and irritated w him fer the past few days.
er. scratch dat and make dat weeks.
he juz dun have time fer me la.
guess wat!? was talkin to him.
dan he said he can meet me on sat.
and i was like ' oh u mean u are finally free to meet me? not havin any fren's bday party? '
and he was like ' nopex no party. but i gotta go see my fren's baby '
im seriously like WTF!!!
forget it la. seriously juz forget it.
if im as a gf dont even have the PRIVILEGE to meet him on sats.
wats da point rite?! wats da point!!!
hopefully this will get sorted out soon. dunno how long more i can hold.
my patience has a limit de lor.
its almost a yr. close to a yr. and some things are juz as bad.
grr.. watever..
haiz. anyway its ma birthday.
so im gonna party like its my bday.
lets see wats in store fer me tml. =)

anyway thank shawn ; yi wei ; grace ; my BABEAR ; mandy. u guys almost flooded my phone when clock strikes 12.

mandy baby ; thanx fer announcing to the whole world dat its my bday. and yes. u succeeded in being the first! whee we are meetin on sat! whee. miss you guys so much!!!

1.Who's your love? aside from family, god and friends???
- guess there's oni him left fer me to love.
2. Do you believe in the saying that goes "First love never dies."
- does dies. but it will still linger.
3.How do you know when it's really love?
- when i just want to wake up next to him every single morning.
4.Do you know when someone likes you?
- no. unless he tells me.
5.Is love lovelier the second time around?
- hmm. it depends.
6.What' s your opinion about the saying LOVE IS BLIND?
- i tink its quite true. when u are in love. u are blinded by the bad points abt the person.
7.Will you do everything for the person you love?
- everything is a profound word.
8.Will you ever fall in love with your bestfriend?
- er. firstly i oni like guys. and my guy frens i know them to much to fall in love w them.
9.What's your type of girl/boy?
- my type? hmm. its gonna be a long list. no point sayin. there aint gonna be someone who fit the bill.
10.Do you express your feelings openly?
- not really la. im a very shy ger. haas
11.What do you dislike in a girl/boy?
- hmm. dishonesty.
12.Who's your crush?
- oh wells. mr rain.
13. Is it possible for you to fall in love with an older man or woman?
- yupz. why not. sense of maturity
14. Eh younger?
- i cant say no. who knows wat gonna happen in the future?
15.How hard is a break-up?
- very hard. ur heart totally breaks up.
16.Are you a heartbreaker?
- nahz.
17.What do you do after a break-up?
- aft i get over it? i will be happy being single and wait fer the next love.
but during the break up is bad. its undescribable.
18.Do you swear never to fall in love again?
- oh wells. everybody does dat wen u are heartbroken. but love has it ways.
19.What's the greatest lesson/s you've learned regarding love?
- am still learnin. love doesnt have to hurt. =)

whee. today went out w my daddy, mama and "the lil one"
wahaahaa.
yupx. met them at the airport.
was so surprised dat the lil one grew so biiiig now!!!
so diff from the day i saw him in the hospital.
it was definitely a BIG difference. haas.
dan bring him go see aeroplane.
make so much noise. in the end was juz forcing him to drink milk.
haas. and then he vomitted milk on me la.
BAHHHHHHH!!! i will take revenge one day.
haas. anyway aft dat went dwn to suntec.
and we juz walked ard. went toys'r'us.
and he got a new toy. mwahaahaa.
he mux be so happy. haas.
dan we went fer dinner at soup restaurant.
had a freakin FULL dinner. always go out w them sure eat till full full de.
haas.
aft dat went dwn to pearl centre.
bought mmc card. slacked awhile ; homed.

the lil one is juz so freakin cute la.
thou at times really dunno wat to do so dat he can stop cryin.
haas. feel so old la. cuz dat stupid woman keep emphasising on AUNTY!!!
BAHHHH!!!!!!!!
haas. muz bring him go see the lights in orchard.
hols comin soon. time to meet up w my lil one again.
haas.

oh wells. its a friday. and i aint happy at all.
this is startin to become a routine
no more feeling excited abt the weekends.
i cant even get to see you at all.
and i mean AT ALL!!!
riteee. i know its ur fren bday and u need to be there
but do you need to be there from fri all the way to sunday!?
his bday aint 3 days!!!
doubt u will even be w me fer 3 whole days fer my bday!!!
still say wan go night safari w me.
go watch movie w me.
go shoppin w me.
juz fark off will you!!!
why muz u hurt me all over again juz liddat?
im startin to feel worthless to you again.
YES!!! AGAIN!!!
life juz sux. aint it?!

this pic portrays the happiness i experience prior being with you. your the one my heart soley beats fer. lovess.