ignore my previous post.
my mind is actually still whirling around.
i dunno what is truly going on in there.

i need a good cry. i really need it.
i need to let it all out.
but how am i suppose to do so?
i think after the cry im able to settle down and move on

james if you are ever reading this.
you are such a special person in my life.
you sure were. and you will always be in my heart.
i know you love me alot. and you shld know i sure did.
in fact you are the one i love most in my entire life
more than daniel. im sure of that.
but somehow we are just not suitable fer each other
and to prevent more damage done to either of us
i have to grit my teeth ; pluck up all my courage and bid you goodbye
i know you do not deserve this.
i din want things to end like this too. im really sorry.
im sick of the way being treated by you.
im sick of being contented with what you can give me
im sick of lying to myself
im sick of suppressing all the feelings i feel.
dear. if you could still allow me to call you that one last time.
i really do love you but i have no choice but to say goodbye.
yes i do miss you. i miss not having you around at times.
but come to think of it ; you were never really around.
those happy times will always be a part of me.
be strong k.
i know this sound cliche ; but we could always be friends.
if we are really meant to be ; we will be in the end

under the smile ; its actually sadness
its hurting inside ; im crying but not on the outside anymore